No matter how positive an outlook someone may have, none of us are very good at taking criticism. Even if it is well-meaning, having your faults pointed out can immediately trigger defensive instincts and we end up feeling antagonism towards the person rather than listening to and focussing on the points they are making.
However, when it comes to criticism, there are ways to be constructive and helpful without making an enemy of someone. Here are some ways you can make your feedback more constructive.
Begin with praise
You can get off on the right foot by providing some positive feedback. You may still intend to point out faults, but pointing out what a person has done well will not only cushion the blow, it will let them know that they are at least on the right track.
Avoid the ‘but’
When you are doling out praise, the recipient may understandable be waiting for the ‘but’ and the kick pivot into negative criticism. How you couch those negative comments is important. So, by saying something like ‘you have done a great job on the plot in this short story and your characterization will improve the more you write’. Replacing ‘but’ with ‘and’ allows you to point out a problem, but do so in a positive manner, giving the person the confidence that they can improve on those areas which need more work.
Reinforce improvements and set targets for them
Operate on the assumption that the person is capable of making the improvements they need and set that as a goal for them to achieve. Convince them that they are already the person who has achieved the sort of improvement you are suggesting and they’ll have something to aim for.
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